4 SIMPLE STEPS TO TURNING YOUR WORLD UPRIGHT

I recently auditioned for a national commercial and was the top choice. For the next few days I was walking on air as texts went back and forth hammering out the details. My agent called. Just seeing his name on my phone made me scream with excitement. Wow this is really happening. I am expecting to hear the “B” word for (You’re Booked!) That’s when it’s official. But it wasn’t the great news I was expecting. The client insisted on using a friend and the producer finally gave in.

I DID NOT GET THE JOB! What? Once I caught my breath and got over the initial “punched in the gut” feeling I told my agent “It is what it is”. "What?" he said.

“You know”? I continued, “This has been one heck of a roller coaster ride. Most people don’t ever even get into the amusement park on stuff like this.” I’m grateful to have had this experience."

This was not the typical response my agent receives when delivery this kind of news or the one he received from Brett. I shared how I will never forget how amazing it felt in that room at the callback when Brett and I both knew we "NAILED" it. It is never such a sure thing as it was that day in that room. How the last several days were some of the most amazing days ever, thinking about filming the commercial and how a national commercial would be a game changer for my acting career. And yes the money wasn’t too shabby either. Bottom line, it had been one heck of a ride. My response was the result of the many years of surprises and life not going the way I assumed it would. The countless times I felt that “punched in the gut” feeling but still needed to be strong and upbeat in spite of how I felt. I learned to look for the bright side of things because it helps you power through... and that is how my children needed to see the situations when in reality I was scared to death and barely holding it together inside. It had to be OK. Being angry, placing blame or having a pity party for myself would have done nothing good. It never does. It wasn’t going to change the situation. Instead, I chose to be grateful for the experience making it one of the most exciting memories I have – one more very (very bright) crayon in my box.

Here are four things to remember to help you not only get through life's disappointments, but to grow and be a better, stronger person because of them: 1. Don’t be too attached to the outcome. Let it go. OK so it didn’t turn out the way we wanted. As long as we are in resistance to the reality of the situation (a damaged or failed relationship, a health crisis, a diagnosis, a lost job, the so-called punch in the gut, etc.) we play the victim role in this dance called life. Sure. Sit in it for a bit but then start making plans. What's next? That is up to you.

2. Accept the situation as it is. OK It is what it is, so now what? This is one of my personal mantras. Once we accept the situation as it is, we take back control, not only of the situation but also of our lives. Now we can start making choices about the things we can control; our attitude and our perspective about the situation.  This is what turns the situation RIGHT-SIDE up and determines how we allow it to affect not only us but also others in our lives. Even if the choices are not clear at the moment, we can certainly change our perspective of the situation – which in fact changes the situation.

3. Be grateful. I’m not going to tell you this is an easy one. And this statement can easily be misunderstood. There are situations that some of my friends are going through that I still struggle to wrap my head around but these women stay strong and are still able to find things to be grateful for. Sometimes it’s the simplest of things but they find them. For example, my daughter, Emily, was dropped in cheerleading and broke her back when she was 13. During one of her 4:30AM spasms before she had surgery, I realized how grateful we needed to be that she broke her back. Sounds crazy I know, but a broken back is better than a broken neck. After months of searching we finally found a surgeon at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore who was going to do the surgery and for him we were grateful. A broken neck would be a whole different story. Emily and I talked this through one evening and as a result we were filled with an immense sense of gratitude. From that day on the entire experience was different for us because of that conversation. We were grateful.

4. Don’t let this situation be wasted. There is a seed of wisdom planted in every experience; both the good and the bad. Again, you have a powerful choice here. Will you allow it to bring you to your knees (and stay there?) or will you straighten up, rise up and grow stronger, wiser, happier, better because of it? It’s your life. It’s your choice. You have more control and power than you realize. You’ve got this!!!! - Michelle